2003-11-19 - 11:30 a.m.

The narrator of Fight Club said that when you have insomnia, everything feels like "a copy, of a copy, of a copy." I don't have insomnia, but I haven't slept more than 4 hours a night for 5 nights of so.

Everything feels hyper real. I feel like I dropped a tab or two. I am even hallucinating, just slightly. If I stare at the walls of my cubicle, they start to move. When I close by eyes, it looks like I am swimming in a blood red sea of stars.

I'm not really tired. I'm not yawning or anything, but I do feel just a little less alert, a wee bit off the ball. My head aches just a little.

This is likely to go on tomorrow as well, as I have an essay to finish up for class tomorrow.

Last night I got to be at about 5:30 or 6:30, in the morning, so I only got 2 or 3 hours of sleep. For the most part, I feel fine. In fact, I got up and got going this morning more quickly than i usually do.

But everything feels strange, like I am in a dream, or like I just woke up from a really engaging dream. I don't recall dreaming last night (or earlier this morning).

I remeber once, I was driving back from Vermont late on a Sunday, and I must have been very tired, and I was hallicanating massivly on the drive home. I thought I saw (or, rather I did see, or I percieved) cartoon characters knocking billboards down on top of me. When they became so bad that they interfered w/ my driving, I pulled off, napped for 15 mintues, and got back on the road and got driving until I had to pull off again.

That was a very striking experience; I recall it very vividly. I hope that the same does not occur tonight on the way home, the mass pike is far busier than Vermont's highways on a Sunday night.

I feel like I have been transported to another world, the real world, as if my whole life was just a dream. I feel like I stepped 2 feet outside of my body. I can see auras around things. I exist in an altered state consciousness.

As I said, it's all very interesting.

What's keeping me going is a few sips of a neon blue Jolt cola and a few Dead Kennedys tracks as I take my breaks.

What the hell is "Ester of Wood Rosin?"

Tony posted a link to an about folklore mythology amoung homeless children in Miami that you should read. I feel like I could be talking to spirits today.

I remeber hearing about Bloody Mary when I was a kid. I had no idea the legend only dates back twenty years. I always thought that it was an allegory about a British queen.

But then, I was always a bright kid.

I feel like i am swimming, like I am dragging, like everything is taking just a bit more effort than it should.

That's enough